A mentally ill man shot himself in the head as a suicide attempt. The bullet cured his disorder and he became a straight-A college student.

For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back.

-Come on, it's time to go -No -We are going to be late -I hate school -But Mum, you have to take me!

Bought 17 a fanny pack for back to school to delay my becoming a grandfather too early.