Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device.
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Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device.
Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!
You know it's not believable when six people rob a bank in a movie if you've ever tried to organize a dinner for six people.
Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead.
[first date] HIM: Can I call you sometime? HER: [slowly slides napkin over phone] You can't... I lost my phone
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