An oldie I heard in elementary school Little Johnny has just started kindergarten and doesn't know the alphabet. As things usually happen, the teacher asks Johnny to recite the alphabet. He tells her that he does not know the alphabet, so she tells him to go home and ask his parents to help him learn it. After school, he runs up the driveway and into the kitchen, where his mom is on the phone with a friend. As he runs in, he yells out ""MOM, WHAT'S THE ALPHABET?"" Being the wonderful mother that…

20 Things to do Before You Die... 1) Look at see through glass and when someone is on the other side shout ""OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"" 2) Bring a big chair into the elevator facing away from the door and when someone walks in, dramatically turn and say 'we've been expecting you.' 3) Walk up to someone, hand them a potato, look them in the eyes and deadpan 'with great power, comes great responsibility.' Walk away. 4) Call someone to tell them you can't talk right now. 5) Point at someone and shou…

As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"

[on phone] mom I need u to pick me up from the restaurant right now *whispers* no the date is going terrible, she pronounced it 'pokey-man'