Cop: Save it for the JUDGE! Crook:Ok *crook wraps up last slice of pizza in foil* Lawyer: it's too bad the judge had to miss our pizza party

Jury awards $22 million to man locked in closet by East Cleveland police for four days with no food or toilet. R Kelly is going to sue the East Cleveland police for copyright infringement.

So I got a ticket last night I was coming back from my friend's gig at a restaurant, where I enjoyed a good Italian dinner an hour prior. Here's how the initial conversation went: Cop: ""Where have you been tonight?"" Me: ""Fratello's Restaurant. My pal was playing guitar for the crowd from 6-9 pm."" Cop: ""Have you have anything to drink?"" Me: ""Yes, I had one Merlot wine, which I had with my fillet of sole Oreganata dinner."" Cop: ""And when was that?"" Me: ""What, the Merlot wine?"" Cop: ""Y…

Death sentance. A train conductor carrying millions of dollars of raw materials across the United States falls asleep on the job. Missing a crucial interchange, he runs the trains of the tracks and destroys all the cargo, wrecks the train, and kills four people in the process. After months of trials, lawsuits, and court dates, he receives a death row sentence. Months pass and finally the week of his execution arises. With three days left to live, an Holding Officer comes to his cell and walks h…