I need beer money but I've probably captured my neighbor's cat and returned it for the reward one too many times.

A horse walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bank. A horse drives a car. Welcome to horse country. There's shit everywhere please help us.

I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey.

It's a hard life. Very long but a goodun: There once was a large large city and within this large large city was a large large park, within this there was a large large lake. By the shore of this stood a normal sized bench; on it their lived a hobo. This unfortunate gentleman lived their 365 days a year come rain or shine doing his best to get buy feasting on the pigeons and rats of the park whilst begging to support his addiction to drinking bleach. It is winter; our poor friend has just awoken…