As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.

Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East."

Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.

Donation Request ----SENT FROM FORMER 3 STAR GENERAL, FORMER SENATOR, ROBERT WINGLASS ( AND CLASSMATE ) Dear Friends: I have the distinguished honor of being a member of the Committee to raise $50,000,000 for a monument to Hillary R. Clinton. We originally wanted to put her on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for her two faces. We then decided to erect a statue of Hillary in the Washington, D.C. Hall of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed…