A friend's father had been using LOL to mean lots of love. This explained such messages as "Your grandmother's in the hospital. LOL."

Sitting with Grandma at the hospital. She noticed me checking my watch and said, "Go on Dummy. I know brunch is almost over at the tit bar."

The Old Man And The Ferrari An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, What kind of car ya got there, sonny ?' The doctor replies, A Ferrari F-430. With Options, it cost half a million dollars!' That's a lot of money,' says the old man. Why does it cost so much?' Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour !' states the doctor proudly. The Moped driver asks, Mind if I take a look…

An elderly asian man gets into a car accident and has to re-do his eye exam for the DMV. He fails, and goes to the doctor. While examining him, the doctor says ""well, I can see the problem here. You have cataracts."" The old man responds, ""I don't have cataract! I have rincoln continental!""