Walk up to the guy with a popped collar and spiked hair & say "What's up, Chad?" & he'll be all "Whoa... How'd you know my name, bro?"

"Ma'am, you had twins. They are fine and your boyfriend Chad named them" - Oh no "This is Debra" - aww I like that "And this is Depanties"

HOW I DRESS FOR UNIVERSITY First day of the week: brad pitt Last day of the week: homeless druggie

Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free friend Chad until the day that baby squirrel beat him to death.