"do you know the best way to get rid of a wasp nest?" no, try using your phone [throws phone and hits wasp nest] *running* I meant google it
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Our dog runs away so much, I'm just going to spray paint our phone number on her side.
When my phone rings, I stay very, very still. If I don't move, it can't see me.
Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism.
Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!
Joke ID:
01KKTNJJD91ARREAN0M7HKVMRQ