Cop: Lets go, boys, no meth in this house. *zoom to fish tank* Fish 1: *nods* Fish 2: [taps on pirate ship] Resume cooking, Lenny. *bubbles*

Boss: Are you high? Me: [trying to photocopy a dog] are you a cop?

[Police sketch artist job interview] "How am I not qualified?" Your resume is a stick figure and a poorly drawn igloo "It's a cat actually"

A Florida police dog is being fired after biting two people; but to be fair, who wouldn't want to hurt people from Florida?