My mate John knows everyone in the world Just cross-posting this from over on /r/AskReddit My mate John claims to know everyone in the world. Last week, we were in the pub, and he was bragging about it. ""Not everyone, though, John!"" I said. He said ""Wait a minute"", pulled out his phone, and made a call. Next thing you know, we're in a taxi on the way to Buckingham Palace. We pull up outside, the guard waves us through, saying ""Hi John!"", and we stop at the front door. Prince Phillip answers, and says ""Oh, hello John, long time no see! Come in, bring your friend. Liz is just making some tea"". So after tea and a chat with the Queen, I'm still not convinced John knows everyone. So he makes another call, then we get in a taxi, go to the airport and get on a private jet that takes us to the White House. Michelle Obama waves us in, saying ""Hi John, good to see you! Barack's just putting some coffee on. Come in, both of you"", and we have coffee and a chat with the Obamas. But I'm still not convinced. So after another call, we find ourselves flying to Rome, and eventually in a taxi to the Vatican. The Pope himself answers the door, with a ""John, my son! Please come in! Is your friend a Catholic?"" I'm not, so I had to wait outside for a while, unfortunately. ""I've just got to do a quick balcony visit, then we can have a chinwag"" says the Pope. So I'm hanging around outside the Pope's balcony, waiting in the huge crowd for him to come out, and soon enough, out comes the holy Father, along with my mate John, and they start waving to the crowds. Just at that moment [the guy next to me nudges me and says ""Who's that guy up there on the balcony with John?""](/spoiler)