A drunk walks into a bar... A drunk walks into a bar carrying a shoebox and says ""Hey bartender, if I show you something amazing, will you give me a free drink?"" Bartender shrugs, and says ""Well, it'd have to be something pretty amazing. Let's have it."" Guy pulls a rat and a tiny piano out of the shoebox and sets them both on the bar. The rat immediately starts playing the most amazing ragtime piano the bartender has ever heard. ""Wow, that's amazing! Here's your free drink!"" The bartender …

A man and his buddy walk out of a bar and see a dog licking himself... One looks to the other and says, ""I wish I could do that!"". His buddy looks at him and says, ""He would probably bite you"".

A horse walks into a bar... and the bartender says, ""Hey look everybody! Sarah Jessica Parker is in the house!""

A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""why the long face?"" The horse starts crying. In between the sobs, he says ""it's not my fault I look like Sarah Jessica Parker!""