Did you hear the one about the captain's lucky shirt? So a pirate captain is walking along the deck of his ship, when all of a sudden the crier in the crows-nest yells ""Spanish treasure ship getting within range!"" So the captain rallies his men, and calls to his first mate ""First mate, get me my lucky red shirt"". The captain puts the shirt on and the pirates battle bravely and kill all the Spaniards and get an enormous horde of gold. After the battle, the first mate asks ""Captain, why do you always wear that red shirt when we battle?"" to which the captain replies ""Ah, well, see if I wear this shirt, if I'm wounded in battle the men won't see me bleeding, and will fight on as though their captain was still with them."" To which the first mate replies ""Wow, how brave of you, sir. I'm honored to have you as my captain!"" The next day, the captain is walking along the deck, when the crier calls out ""Cap'n, they're coming in from all directions! I must have counted at least 15 galleons!"" The captain gulps and says to the men ""Well mateys, we've had a good run, and spilled a lot of blood together. But if we're going down, we're going down fighting!"" As the men prepare the cannons and get their weapons ready, the captain calls to the first mate ""First mate, get me my lucky red shirt, and my lucky brown pantaloons""