I just wanted a drink. Stopped at Speedway to buy a drink. When I pulled in, I noticed these two cops watching a woman who was smoking while fueling up. I'm thinking, ""Wow...what an idiot! The police are standing right there!"" I go in and get my drink. As I was paying, I hear someone scream, ""Look outside!"" OMG!! The woman's arm was on fire!!! She's running around like a chicken with its head cut off, waving her arm around and just going nuts. We all went outside and watched the cops put her…

There was a woman with 100 children. She lacked the creativity to name all of them so she just names them 1-100. 99 of the kids die. The only survivor is the kid named 90. 90 grows up and has kids of her own. One day, the kids find a stray dog. 90 did not want them to keep it. The kids decide to keep the dog secretly. They name the dog ""this"" so that they can say things like ""Let's take this outside"" without 90 finding out. One day, this suddenly dies in a car accident. Only 90's kids rememb…

Dead-Baby Jokes What is funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume. What is the difference between a baby and a onion? No one cries when you chop up the baby. What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon. What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board? Dart-boards don't bleed. What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar? About 500 calories. Why did the family take the dead baby al…

A Woman And Her Hundred Kids There was this woman, who had a hundred children (probably from mexico or something). Now, this woman had no imagination, so she simply named them after the order they were born. The first child was named ""1"", the second ""2"" and so on. Unfortunately, the woman and her children got into a terrible accident, (again, probably something to do with mexico) leaving everybody dead, except for 90. The years pass and 90 grows older, having two children of her own. One day…