I hope when the Avengers meet Spider-Man they give him shit for not helping when NYC got attacked.

I'm still mad NYC banned the lead paint I used to like sucking off my tenement windowsills. #DontTreadOnMe

When you think about it, Mariah Carey and Drew Carey don't even look like sister and brother.

Mariah Carey seems like the type to sing all she wants for Christmas is you, but when you don't get her anything she throws a huge hissy fit