A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas... and sees a beautiful blonde sitting there with her boyfriend. He pulls out his gun, and shoots the boyfriend. Then he walks up to the girl and asks, ""What a lovely girl like you doing in a place like this all alone.""
Me: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Me: When you fell from a really high distance. Dating as an atheist is hard.
Saying "oh my gosh you're getting so big!" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend.
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
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