A winery is looking for a taster and so the vintner puts an ad out in the paper. The next day, a man arrives at the office. He has greasy hair and a five o'clock shadow, he's wearing a filthy jacket and torn jeans, he obviously hasn't had a shower since Christ was crucified, and he smells strongly of stale tobacco smoke and cheap beer. The vintner sees the man's obviously a homeless dipsomaniac, so he tries to turn him away, but the man tells him he's here about the job. ""Well, all right, then,"" the vintner says. He pulls a green bottle from the cupboard behind him, making sure to keep the label covered, and pours a glass for the drunk. ""Can you tell me about this wine?"" ""Urgh!"" the drunk says, after taking a sip. ""It's a 1992 cabernet shauvignon from Bordeaux, grown on a north shlope, matured in Hungarian oak. You can barely tashte the rotten eggsh and burning rubber over the mould. Give me something elsh."" The vintner is impressed; the drunk managed far better than he had expected, identifying not only the wine's faults but also its vintage and the conditions it grew in. He still doesn't want the man on staff, though, so he decides to give him a glass of something better, with more complex flavours to discern. ""How about this one?"" he says. ""That'sh more like it! 2007 amarone, with a big oseletta content, I'd shay about fifteen per cent, and almost as much forsellina. Northeast shlope, matured in French chethnut. It'sh got a big body, long legs, and lots of tannins. Notes of figs, chocolate, and fine tobacco. Delicious. Can I have another?"" the homeless man slurs, obviously drunk. ""Hey, there's more vintages,"" the vintner says as he goes to get another bottle, a white wine this time. He comes back with the bottle and a glass, hoping against hope that the drunk would be stumped. ""Try this."" ""Thish is absholutely wonderful! It'sh a 1999 Tokaj, 6 puttonyos, grown on an eastern shlope, matured in Hungarian oak. There'sh a shignificant quannity of Kabar in thish."" The vintner can't take it anymore. The drunk was obviously qualified, but he simply couldn't have such a person running around HIS winery! To save himself from the trouble, he decided to give him a truly impossible test: he asked his teenage daughter to urinate into a wine glass and, once she had done so, brought it into the office. ""Woman, 2000 vintage. Pregnant. Notes of tobacco and cocaine. If I get the job, I'll name the father.""