An idiot, a moron, and a dumbass want to win a blue ribbon at the State Fair. Idiot: ""But what could we win?"" Moron: ""What if we dun entered in an animal?"" Dumbass: ""We could win for 'World's Biggest Pig'!"" The three go out and procure the biggest pig they can find. Over the next few weeks, they feed the pig as much slop as it can keep down. It grows slowly, but with the State Fair a week away, it hasn't gained enough weight to win 'World's Biggest Pig'. Moron: ""Goddammit, how do we make this pig grow faster?"" Dumbass: ""It won't get bigger 'cus it's shittin' too much!"" Idiot: ""Let's plug it up!"" And the idiot rams a cork up the pig's rear end. With the pig plugged up, it gains a massive amount of weight over the next week. At the State Fair, it easily wins 'World's Biggest Pig', and the three collect their winnings. With the pig no longer needed, they discuss what to do with it. Dumbass: ""We needa take that there cork out."" Idiot: ""I'm ain't gunna do it!"" Moron: ""Let's get a monkey to do it!"" The three find a monkey, and show it how to remove the cork before taking it to the pig. They stand back as the monkey removes the cork, and immediately after, all three lose consciousness. They wake up hours later in the hospital with a doctor standing in front of their beds. He asks them: ""What's the last thing you remember before you blacked out?"" Idiot: ""The pig explodin'."" Moron: ""Shit flyin' e'erywhere."" Dumbass: ""That poor lil' monkey tryin' to put the cork back in...""