An airplane is flying along... Carrying 2 mexicans, a frenchman and a texan. An engine goes out and the pilot says they have to lose 500lbs or they're all going to die. One of the mexicans stands up, says ""Viva Mexico!"", and jumps out of the plane. Then the frenchman, ""Vive la France!"", and jumps out behind him. Next the texan stands up, grabs the remaining mexican, tosses him out the door and says ""Remember the Alamo!"".
If Twitter was any more fun we'd have to smuggle it in from Mexico.
[Pilot intercom] Me: "Hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. Not to cause alarm but the pilot has passed out and I lied a lot on my resume."
I'm flying to NYC today and I don't care what the flight attendant says, I will be using my seat cushion as a fartation device.
My flight doesn't have wifi so I'm just gonna hit the call button and tell the flight attendant every time I think of something amusing.
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