I entered a contest to win a car, but ended up winning a phone It was Nokia, but it was still a great prize.

I drove my car into a river and watched it turn into a mobile phone... One minute, a Kia. Next minute, Nokia.

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever

*wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING