DATE: This place is so fancy ME: Ever have a guy splurge on you before? DATE: Well, only when we didn't have a condom

An Inspector goes to a Processing Plant So an inspector goes to a processing plant. He walks up to the manager and says: I hear you keep your animals in horrible conditions. I'm here to write a report.' The manager gives a cold smile and says: Where would you like to start?' Let's start with your pigs,' says the inspector. So the manager takes him down to the pig pens. The room is like a dungeon, full of iron cages, the walls crammed with an assortment of wicked-looked knives and bloody saws. Ev…

God goes down to visit Hell... God goes down to visit hell and the Devil. God says : This is a pretty nice place you got here, but the temperature is unbearable. The devil answers: Its not that bad, when we are cold we go to the hot lava springs. When that gets too hot, we go to the snowy mountains. And the cycle goes on and on. God thinks for a moment, and replies: This place is better than mine, I'm taking it. Devil puts on a sly grin: Oh yeah, where will you find a lawyer?

Two men walk into a bar. . . They look to the left and see a doctor, a lawyer and a rabbi. They look to the center and see a farmer, a pastor and a cow. To the right they see a genie, a salesman and a judge. The first man turns to his friend and says "Lets get out of here. This place is a god damn joke."