Snake Bite John and Jake was walking in the woods when John decided to take a leak in a bush. While Jake waited for John to finish his business he heard John screamed and ran to him. John: ""JAKE HELP!"" Jake: ""what happened?"" John: ""a snake bit my d***!"" Jake: ""hang on i will call for help"" Jake whips out his cellphone and called a doctor. Doctor: ""hello?"" Jake: ""i need help! My friend got bitten by a snake!"" Doctor: ""alright, first you need a rope and tie down the part of the body that got bitten so the venom doesn't spread"" Jake: ""and then?"" Doctor: ""you must suck the part that has been bitten to get the venom out"" Jake: ""alright doc"" Jake hangs up his cellphone and looked at John. John: ""what did the doctor say?"" Jake just stayed silent for a few seconds and said Jake: ""he said you are going to die""