How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag? **You**: How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag? **Friend**: I don't know, how? **You**: Take the S away from ""safe"" and the F out of ""way."" **Friend**: But there's no F in way. **You**: *Friend realizes*
"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog
I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.
Once a neighbor kid asked if my dog had any nicknames & I lied & made a bunch up & now whenever I see her she asks how Tree Trunk' is doing
A chihuahua is just a barking cat.
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