My girlfriend and I used to argue in bed... I liked to sleep all stretched out like a starfish, and she liked to sleep with a Russian body-builder called Ivan.
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Me: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Me: When you fell from a really high distance. Dating as an atheist is hard.
Saying "oh my gosh you're getting so big!" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend.
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
Joke ID:
01KKTNDKQRK4AYGBM56RMSRKQ1