My flight from New York to London just landed. As we were landing, the captain said ""Ladies and gentlemen, here we are in London. Our flight today has taken six hours and twenty seven minutes."" I shouted ""Is that a record?"" The captain replied ""No, it's me talking.""
The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.
Me: I want to kiss you everywhere! Her: You mean New York, Paris & London? Me: Um, ya that's what I meant.
[first day as London tour guide] And over there is the Tower of [frantically flips through guide book for like 20 minutes] Eiffel.
Most people don't even know that New York was attacked by the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man in the 80's. I saw a documentary about it.
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