Unintentional bad dad joke gone so wrong. Me: ""Well, that meal was completely unsatisfying."" Dad: ""Just like your mother."" Proceeded by me cringing and him asking, ""What? Did I say that out loud?"" Worst. Family. Dinner. Ever. (For those that are curious, the food was terrible storebought lasagna. Also, the insuing fight between them lasted for over an hour. I thought someone here might find the humor in it since humor is my coping mechanism.)
Of course I work out. I do burpees after drinking pop. I do lunges to grab the last slice of pizza & squats if I drop it.
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
[first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza.
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