Cancer An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, ""I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that I have cancer and the doctor said I only have a month to live."" ""Pop, what are you talking about?"" the son screams. ""I don't really have the strength to talk right now,"" the old man says. ""I'm too sick to talk right now, so you call your sister in Chicago and let her know."" and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. ""OH MY GOD! This can't be!"" she shouts, ""We have to go visit him right now!"" She calls Phoenix immediately, and talks to the old man, ""You are NOT dying on me! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?"" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and says, ""Okay, they're coming for Christmas...now what do we tell them for your birthday?""