The navy caught a pirate armada. The admiral of the navy went to interrogate the pirate captain. He noticed that the captain was missing a leg, had a hook on a hand and was wearing an eyepatch. So he asked him the story behind them. The pirate captain said, ""I lost the hand 5 years ago, while fighting with the English army. So I used a hook in its place."" ""What about the leg?"" ""I lost the leg when a mutiny occured and my first mate fought me. I killed him and all the mutineers were executed, but lost the leg."" ""I understand the hook and the leg, but why the eye patch?"" ""That happened when I was strolling the deck and inspecting the activities, and a bird shit on my eye."" ""You mean that you lost your eye due to bird shit?"" ""No, it was my first day with the hook.""