A young woman in Liverpool... A young woman in Liverpool was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Mersey. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, ""Look, you have so much to live for - I'm off to America in the morning and if you like I can stow you away on my ship and will take good care of you and bring you food every day."" Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder - ""I'll keep you happy and you'll keep me happy."" The girl nodded - after all, what she had to lose and a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat and from then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and they made passionate love until dawn. Two weeks later, during a routine inspection she was discovered by the Captain. ""What are you doing here?"" the captain asked. ""I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,"" she explained. ""I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me."" ""He certainly is,"" the captain said. ""This is the Birkenhead Ferry.""