The Heretic I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, ""Stop! Don't do it!"" ""Why shouldn't I?"" he said. I said, ""Well, there's so much to live for!"" He said, ""Like what?"" I said, ""Well, are you religious or atheist?"" He said, ""Religious."" I said, ""Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?"" He said, ""Christian."" I said, ""Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"" He said, ""Protestant."" I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, ""Baptist!"" I said, ""Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!"" I said, ""Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"" He said, ""Reformed Baptist Church of God!"" I said, ""Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"" He said, ""Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!"" I said, ""Die, heretic scum!"" and pushed him off.