You bastard A judge working a double-homicide case tells the defendant, ""You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."" ""You bastard!"" yells a voice from the back of the courtroom. ""You're also charged with killing your mother-in-law with a hammer,"" says the judge. ""Bastard!"" the same person yells. The judge addresses the man sitting in the back of the courtroom.""Sir, one more outburst and I'll charge you with contempt."" ""I'm sorry, Your Honor,"" says the man. ""But I'…

Divorce Joke my Family Law Professor Told Elderly couple, 102 and 98 years old respectively. And they are getting a divorce. Judge asks them why they are getting one now... ""we were waiting for the kids to die""

A man is taking his family to his father's funeral... .. He is talking with his wife as his two children sit in the backseat, the daughter fiddles with her phone charger while the son listens in. ""Honey, I don't know what I'm going to say in his eulogy."" ""Well, you could make comparisons, say he was as strong as an ox."" ""Yeah, that was just like him... Oh! He was like a rock, staying tough against whatever was thrown at him!"" The husband added. ""You see, just think of things that that rem…

Goodbye Daddy One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers ""God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa."" Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died. A month later the father heard his son saying prayers again: ""God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grammy."" The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father was getting more than a little worried about the whole situation. One week later, the father once ag…