An elderly couple file for divorce... ... After 60 years of marriage. The lawyer they meet with prepares all the paperwork but stops before handing it to the couple to sign and asks; ""By all means I can let you do this, but please let me know why? Why after over half a century of happy marriage would you want to end it now? What could ruin such a long streak of love?"" ""Well,"" replies the wife, ""we wanted to wait until the kids were dead.""

during his whole life, my grandfather told my dad only one joke. a few months before he died. this is it. A couple, 98 and 100 years old, see a lawyer and ask how to go about in getting a divorce. Surprised, the lawyer asks, why they want to get a divorce at this point of their lives. The woman answers: 'We wanted to wait till the children were dead.'

Grandpa Me: My grandpa knew the exact time, day and year he was going to die! Teacher: What an evolved soul? How'd he know? Me: The judge told him.

[MURDER TRIAL] JUDGE: So in 27 years of marriage, you never knew your wife was allergic to salt? MR.SLUG:[Into mic] That's correct.