3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to an orientation in Heaven. They are all asked, ""When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"" The first guy says, ""I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."" The second guy says, ""I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."" The last guy repl…

Cloud Roulette Three men in a car get into a crash and wind up in front of Saint Peter himself. ""Ah, first vist of the day! Not that I wanted you to die..."" Saint Peter looks at a small clipboard and says, ""Names!"" All men respond with their full names. ""Okay then... What? That's odd... None of you are on the list! This is the second mixup this week! ""I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, let me ask God what I should do."" After a few minutes of Peter seemingly talking to God telepathically,…

Joke my cousin told me today There are two twin brothers, one is a very successful dentist and the other is an unemployed bum. The bum brother has no job and lives with the successful dentist. One day he makes the decision to go out and get a job, so he gets in his car and he starts driving to some possible employers to hand out his resume. On the way to his first stop, he gets in a terrible car accident. It's a disaster and he is rushed to the emergency room. Meanwhile, the other brother is at …

A 50 year old woman dies and goes to heaven... Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter looks surprised and tries to find her name in the 'Death Book'. He doesn't find her name there and tells her, ' there must have been a mistake. You were not supposed to die, you still have 30 more years ahead of you. Since it was a mistake and it is unfair, I will send you back.' The woman wakes up and is really excited. She thinks that since she has 30 more years to live, why not get a facelift and feel …