DAD: I want a steak. HER: Eat this chicken instead. It's healthy. DAD: No it isn't. It's dead.

Accidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels.

Why did simbas father die in lion king? Because he couldn't Mufasa.

"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog