So I was at a bar So I was at the bar and this fellow is next to me we get to talking and he's talking about his job at the retention department in comcast. He then asks me what I do and I say Me: I work in car sales Dude: Dude I could never do that, thats just a shitty job Me: Dude...you work for comcast He starred at the bottom of his glass the rest of the evening.
Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!
*wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING
Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?
[car dealership] WIFE: let me do the talking, ur a terrible negotiator SALESMAN: u can drive off with this car for 18k ME: we'll double that
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