The parrot and the KGB One day in Soviet Russia, a parrot flies over a village squawking loudly: 'The Soviet Union is shit! Death to the Communist Party!'. The KGB is rapidly informed, and they start to investigate who owns a parrot in the area. They find out that there is only one parrot owner in the area, so they go and knock on his door. KGB agents: Hi, do you own a parrot? Man: Yes I do. KGB agents: Could we see it? Man: Certainly, please come in. They walk in and follow the man to the kitchen. He takes his parrot out of the freezer. The parrot is shivering but still alive. The startled KGB agents ask: Parrot, what are your views on communism and the Soviet Union? The parrot answers: Long live the Soviet Union, long live the Communist Party! The KGB agents do not quite know what to make of the fact that the man kept the parrot in the freezer, but since it says nothing controversial they decide to leave it at that. Once they're gone, the man turns to his parrot and says: Now that you know what the gulag feels like, will you keep your damn mouth shut?