Turkey Dinner Surprise A husband and his wife had been married for over fifty years. They were desperately in love with each other. Neither one had any complaints about the other, except for one. Each morning, the husband would roll over and fart loudly as he woke up. The wife would exclaim, ""One of these days you're going to shit your guts out!"" Her husband would just laugh. One morning, the wife woke early to make a big turkey dinner. The husband was still asleep in bed. As she removed the turkey gizzard, she had an idea. She took the gizzard, crept into the bedroom, gently pulled the sheets back, and slid the gizzard between the husbands ass cheeks, covered him again, and slowly crept back to the kitchen. After a few minutes she heard the loudest fart come from the bedroom followed by a panicked scream. She laughed to herself, confident that this would be the last of his morning farts. Several minutes later the husband came waddling into the kitchen. ""Are you alright, honey?"" she asked. ""You know how you always said that one day I would shit my guts out?"" he replied, ""Well it happened this morning."" He raised up his index and middle fingers. ""But by the grace of God and these two fingers, I put them right back in the same way they came out.""