So the Chicago Cubs have a new mascot... ... and you can find Clark's bio [here](http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/chc/fan_forum/clark.jsp). While it talks about Clakr's ""great-grandbear Joa"" it doesn't mention any of his other family members, nor the real reason why he is the new mascot. At a regular checkup, a zoo member noticed some bruises on Clark's body & DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) was called in to investigate. --- After the DCFS social worker arrived they asked if Clark's father hits him. *Yes, my dad beats often me when he is mad* - Clark responded. DCFS - *What about your mother?* Clark - *She beats me when I get in trouble.* DCFS - *Well can we send you to live with your grandparents in the north woods?* Clark - *No, they'd beat me even worse for being a city bear.* DCFS - *So who do you want to live with?* Clark - *The Chicago Cubs, because they can't beat anyone.*