Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says ""I'll have h2o"" The second scientist says ""I'll have a water"" The first scientist goes back home and rethinks his assassination plan.

Two scientists walk into a bar... The first scientist says to the bartender, ""I'll have some H2O."" The bartender nods and gives the man a glass of water. The second scientists says, ""I'll have some H2O, too."" The bartender nods and gives the man a glass of water as well, because he speaks English and understands that the second scientist, rather than requesting a drink which would kill him, simply wanted a glass of water in addition to his friend's.

Two scientists at a restaurant. When the waiter asked the what to drink, the first scientist said, ""I'll have H2O."" The second scientist started to say ""I'll have H20 too,"" but then he told the first scientist, ""Wait a minute. You had something up your sleeves, didn't you?"" He then told the waitress, ""I'll have a glass of water."" The first scientist was furious, staring at him in anger, because his plan to kill the second scientist has failed.

There were 3 scientists and elephant and a monkey... The scientists thought it would be scientifically valuable to put a cork up an elephants backside so it couldn't shit, feed it for three months then pull the cork out and measure the results. They thought this would be dangerous so trained a monkey to pull the cork when a red light went. The big day finally came and the highly sophisticated experiment was all set up. the first scientist was 1 mile away, the second scientist was 2 miles away an…