A Man Walks Into A Bar He orders a Scotch from the guy behind the bar. The bar man watches him as he drinks it and then the man opens his suit jacket and looks in his inside pocket at something. He says to the bar man, "" Same again...make it a double.."" He quickly downs it and again, he peeks into his pocket in his jacket. This happens three or four times, each time the barman looks at him doing the same thing. By the time he orders his fifth Whisky, the guy serving him drinks is wondering why…

A guy down on his luck walks into a bar and is given a magic lamp... A sobbing man walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and sheepishly asks for a double scotch neat. He's on his 3rd glass of scotch when he notices a tiny man playing a piano in the corner of the bar. He thinks he's drunk so he shakes it off and starts telling the bartender how his wife just left him and how he just lost his job. The bartender points to the back room and said ""Walk back there and pick up the gold lamp on t…

eer booze and fun!' '""Shhaaayyy buddy what's a 'Breathalyzer'?"" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. ""Well I'd have to say that it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk way too much"" answered the equally wasted gent. ""Ah hell whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for years!""

[sound of can opening] wife: you're drinking a beer this early? me: c'mon...it's super bowl sunday wife: but we're still at church