A Roman Catholic priest, a Southern Baptist minister, and a Rabbi were all at a bar... They were all arguing over who could convert the most followers to his respective religion. A rather drunk man at the bar yells, ""Anyone can convert a person! It takes real skill to convert a bear!"" The three religious mean agree, and set out to prove who could most effectively convert a bear. They plan to meet one week later. A week later, they all return. The Roman Catholic priest is the first to speak up. He has a black eye, and several noticeable cuts on his arm. ""Gentlemen,"" he says, ""I converted a bear on my first try. I brought my holy water and my incense down to the woods and within a few hours I heard something. I look up and a bear is charging right at me! I manage to dodge him, but I hit myself in the face with a branch and scratched my arms on a tree. But then I threw some holy water on the bear, and he became as still as the baby Jesus."" The other two men agreed that was impressive. The southern baptist minister, whose arm was in a sling, spoke next: ""I, too, went to the woods, and found myself a bear. I only had with me the word of the lord in our good book. That bear charged at me and I almost dodged, but his massive paw broke my arm! But as he charged past me, I shouted a few verses from Matthew at him, and he became as peaceful as a lamb!"" Finally, the rabbi speaks. He is in a full-body cast, with an IV drip and several monitors attached to his chair. He can barely be heard above the beeps of his monitors, so the other two have to lean in close to hear: ""In hindsight, circumcision might not have been the best place to start..."" Edit: Formatting.