The Wasp who Won America's Heart (shaggy dog) Deep in the wasp swamps of the wasp Florida keys, there lived a young wasp. Just as a proper wasp does, this wasp worked day and night for the hive. He worked and slaved and gave his all - but this wasp was no regular wasp, for within him was the ambition and the wisdom of a great, great wasp. So, with a tearful goodbye to his wasp coworkers, his wasp friends and his wasp parents (normal, hard working waspfolk with traditional wasp morals and a burning love for their son), he left and headed north to wasp New York City. Wasp New York was a hell of a town, buzzing with wasp businessmen and wasp artists. The young wasp was in awe, but undeterred - he enrolled in wasp school and worked hard to achieve his wasp degree. Hungry for knowledge, he continued to study - an undergraduate turned into a Master's program, and within a few short years he finally had two wasp PhD's; one in wasp economics and another in wasp political science. With the accolades of a pundit, the wasp began to gain recognition. Radio talk shows began to call and ask for his comments on wasp activism; soon he would star on wasp television. Respect became fame, and the wasp decided he should run for mayor of wasp New York. With a brilliant campaign strategy and a league of supporters, he became mayor in a landslide vote. He ran the city impeccably, enacting wasp social reform and balancing the wasp budget. But mayor was not his endgame. This wasp was serious, and after a brief but outstandingly successful wasp term in office he decided to run for governor. Again, the wasp masses loved him and he was a great success - and again, he was a great leader. Some wasps began to call him the greatest wasp that ever lived; a claim which, in time, began to echo throughout wasp schools and wasp workplaces. It was clear that he had only one choice: to become wasp president of wasp United States. The eight years he proceeded to serve in the wasp oval office were an era of modest, virtuous decadence. Every wasp home was prosperous and moral; every school praised the wasp president as wasps throughout the country lived a utopian life. No wasp leader before or after could have made a claim to a fraction of his popularity or skill. Finally, as his last day in office came to a close, the wasp breathed a sigh of relief. His life had been an absolute success in every sense of the word, and now lay before him boundless possibilities. The wasp sat, pondering how he should live his days now that he had done his life's work. Strangely, he kept thinking of the hive - his home, his birthplace; the faces of his parents seemed blurred in the haze of his hectic life. To return to the hive, he resolved, was the only way he could peacefully rest and appreciate his life. And so he flew back. The journey was long and arduous, not meant for a wasp so old as the president. Days became weeks, but in time, he made it back. He hugged his wasp parents harder than ever before, and they congratulated him on a life well lived. ""Whatever shall you do now?"", asked his mother. ""Well..."", said the wasp, ""...I sure am thirsty. I guess right now I'd like to go grab a drink from the old watering hole."" Off he went, back to the pond he remembered from his youth. He made it there quickly, but was dismayed to see there was a very long line of wasps waiting to drink. Though famous, he was modest - he refused to cut in line and insisted on waiting. An hour passed, and then two, the line barely moving at all. ""Shucks, I guess I'll have to get some soda pop."" He flew to the soda shoppe - but there was a line there too! And this one even longer than the watering hole line! ""That tears it"", he moaned, ""I'm going to go get some punch!"" Thankfully, there was no punch line.