Hitler and Stalin walk together in the afterlife ... they stop next two people and Hitler tells Stalin: "Let me tell you of my plan: I am going to kill six million Jews and a mechanic. one of the two people hear this and asks Hitler "Why kill the mechanic?" Hitler turns to Stalin and says: "see? I told you nobody cares about the Jews"
Officer: "didn't you know that sleeping in your car on the side of the road is illegal ?" Me: "yes I did officer. But this isn't my car"
Merry Christmas. Did anyone get a car with a giant ribbon on top? Has anyone ever? Do those ribbons even exist?
*shaves 'I Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*
Twitter takes me places I've never been before. Take oncoming traffic for example.
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