They say there's no opinions in science But I've seen people get real heated over thermochemistry And they really melt down when you bring up nuclear engineering Have you seen how twisted people get when it comes to DNA? Cartography is the worst, people are just all over the map You should see how hormonal people get about endocrinology You can really feel the pressure in the room when someone brings up hydraulics.

A small collection of my favorite science jokes A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?” “For you, sir, no charge!”   What's 2 times 2? Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!” Mathematician: “After some consideration I can now prove that the solution exists!” Engineer: “4, obviously, but lets make it 5, just to be on the safe side.”   Three logicians walk into a bar. “You all want a beer?” t…

A science graduate asks the question why? A science graduate asks the question why? An engineering graduate asks the question how? An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist? The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow. The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead to account for the placebo effect.