A plane just landed... Little Kid: "Were almost home now they just have to park the plane." His Dad: "Better hope they dont forget to put the parking brake on so we dont go back up." I heard this on my plane ride and the Dad's family looked like they wanted to spit on him for his magnificent Dad joke.
"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog
As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"
Once a neighbor kid asked if my dog had any nicknames & I lied & made a bunch up & now whenever I see her she asks how Tree Trunk' is doing
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
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