The fisherman and the fish A recently divorced and wealthy businessman had amassed enough money to live comfortably for the rest of his life. With his kids already grown and on their own, and all of his debts paid, he retired and decided to spend the rest of his days fishing. He purchased a nice little lake house with a nice porch and some comfortable loungewear. He bought a modest little boat and some top of the line fishing gear. On his first day at his new home he set out to the lake. He fished for hours and didn’t catch anything. He went back again the next day and faced a similar fate: hours of fishing but no fish. He did this for weeks without a single bite. “Damn this good for nothing lake. This was a waste”, he said, as he angrily went to the local pub. When he got inside, he noticed everyone was a fish. The bartender was a fish. The customers were fish. They all awkwardly stared at him as he came to the bar. He shouted, “What the hell are you all doing in here instead of being in the lake? I want to enjoy my retirement and can’t catch you if you’re all in here?!?!?”. The bartender replied, “Only retired fish go in the lake so they can enjoy their retirement, bud. We’re all working class fish here and too young for retirement. If you want to catch a fish at that lake, there’s a trick. You have to say 3 magic words. Give me a good enough tip and maybe I’ll tell ya the secret.” The man begrudgingly pulled out his wallet and paid the fish $50. “You have to get real low to the water and say very slowly “here fishy fishy”, the bartender said. The fisherman ordered a beer, guzzled it, and went back to the lake unsure if it would work. He got in his boat, leaned out with his face real low to the water and said “here fishy fishy”, and cast a line. A large fish skipped the bait entirely and plopped right into the boat. The fisherman gasped, “It worked! I finally caught a fish!”. The fish, still drunk from last nights shenanigans, looked at the fisherman and slurred, “You’re here! I ran out of money last night at the bar, couldn’t get another beer, and didn’t tip the bartender. He said if I left and hung out here long enough, some magic man would come along saying “here fishy fishy” and give me another beer!”.