I bet if a soccer announcer sees a monster, he probably yells: "GHOOOOUL!"

Border Security Idea: Make the door to Mexico too small for sombreros.

My dad told me they once had to cancel a football season because John Madden ate all of the footballs.

I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit.