Who Am I? One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." the mailman comments. Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday mornin…

The Irish Nun and warm milk In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the gla…

Rednecks at the Pearly Gates Three rednecks in Arkansas are out drinking and four wheeling on Christmas Eve. They get drunk as a skunk, hit a tree, and all die and immediately go to heaven. Saint Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates and tells them that unless they have something on their person that can correspond to the Christmas spirit, they're doomed. The first fella easily pulls out a set of keys and jingles them around & says, ""These are the bells of Christmas!"" Saint Peter nods and s…

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more. Before th…