Seeing a man drinking from a stream on his land, an Arkansas farmer shouted: "You don't want to be drinking water from there, it's full of horse piss and cow shit!" "Sorry, I don't understand," said the man. "I'm from Mexico. Can you speak slower please?" "Okay," said the farmer. "If you use two hands, my friend, you'll drink it quicker."
"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog
I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.
Once a neighbor kid asked if my dog had any nicknames & I lied & made a bunch up & now whenever I see her she asks how Tree Trunk' is doing
A chihuahua is just a barking cat.
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