An American, a Mexican and an Italian robbed a bank, and escaped with a haul in dollars, pesos and lira. Back at their hideout, the American distributed the money in three even shares. "1,000 dollars for me, 1,000 pesos for you, 1,000 lira for you . . . 1,000 dollars for me, 1,000 pesos for you, 1,000 lira for you . . . 1,000 dollars for me, 1,000 pesos for you, 1,000 lira for you . . ." As the counting continued, the Mexican whispered to the Italian: "I can't stand Americans, but you have to admit they are fair." Americans say this 'ongoing thing in Iraq'. We don't like to call it a war. They never say 'war' on CNN. They say, 'More pockets of resistance were met today.' Sounds like a dry cleaning operation gone bad. Rich Hall Fifty per cent of Americans don't have a passport. It's not that they don't want to leave their country, it's just that half of them are too fat to fit into a photo booth. The biggest worry in the US is gas prices getting higher, and if that happens we might see something totally unprecedented in America: people actually walking. Andre Vincent